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Robert Greene: The 4 Steps of Seduction

This article is an excerpt from the
Shortform book manual to "The Art of Seduction" via Robert Greene.
Shortform has the sector's satisfactory summaries and analyses of books you
need to be reading.
What is Robert Greene’s seduction
manner? How do you allow your victim’s guard down and pressure them to
obsession?
According to Robert Greene, the aim of
seduction is to carry the other man or woman below your manage—now not always
sexually or romantically. There are 4 steps to it: 1) lure your goal, 2) sink
your hook, three) reel in your seize, and 4) eat your prey.
Here’s a observe Robert Greene’s four
seduction steps and what every includes.
1. Lure Your Target
The first seduction step, in keeping
with Greene, is to spend a while studying greater approximately your ability
goal to find out what target kind they maximum embody. This will determine your
particular seductive method. If achieved properly, you’ll intrigue your goal on
this step.
1: Create a sense of security. According
to Robert Greene, seduction begins with creating a feel of protection. To that
quit, act such as you’re just inquisitive about your target as someone and need
to be pals. This way, they’ll relax and allow their protect down. They’ll then
feel secure beginning as much as you, if you want to permit you to analyze
their vulnerabilities, cluing you in to the kind of seduction in an effort to
work exceptional with this character.
2: Create intrigue by performing
appropriate. Making your target assume different humans want you may cause them
to suppose there need to be something suitable about you, and that they’ll want
to discover what it's miles. Greene advises looking to surround your self with
different people to make your self appearance popular. (Shortform notice: Be
selective about who you surround yourself with. Psychological research
indicates that each women and men discovered capacity buddies much less
appealing after they had been surrounded via handsome human beings of the same
sex, but greater appealing when they have been surrounded by means of
good-looking human beings of the alternative sex. So, for a a success seduction
you can want to find some appealing contrary-intercourse friends to surround
your self with.)
3: Create a need that you could satisfy.
As we’ve mentioned, Greene emphasizes this as the most vital element of
seduction. The goal need to think you've got some thing they want, which means
that they want to believe there’s something lacking in their very own
existence. You can create this feel of deficit for them through subtly pointing
out matters which might be incorrect with their existence. For example, you may
hint at the dearth of journey and exhilaration of their life or mention how
stupid their friends and circle of relatives are. Then guarantee them you may
give them what’s missing.
4: Play on your goal’s conceitedness.
Imitation is the maximum seductive form of flattery, and flattery will
frequently get you anywhere, Greene says. Subtly replicate your goal’s
mannerisms, tastes, moods, and ideals. Make them agree with they’re the
character they assume they are by means of mirroring their best self again to
them. For instance, in case your target sees themselves as a devout non secular
practitioner, present yourself as that too, and let them consider you respect
their religion and devotion.
5: Create a tempting “taboo.” People are
drawn in through what they suppose is forbidden, so supply your goal the sense
that you’re unavailable in some manner. Be flirtatious and flattering, but let
them think they could’t have you yet. Greene says it’s very crucial to be
affected person—remember on this segment you’re just developing intrigue.
Step 2: Sink Your Hook
The next step is to take your target
from being intrigued to being “hooked.” This manner their interest can be
centered on you on my own. According to Greene’s procedure, the important thing
to this hook is to play a role and create an phantasm that you’ll entice the
target into.
1: Create marvel and unpredictability.
Most humans locate predictability boring, so that you’ll need to give you ways
to every now and then marvel your goal. Try giving them surprising little
gifts, or set up a spontaneous journey, to preserve matters interesting.
2: Use the electricity of language to
create an illusion. Words could have power over people, so use them
intentionally. Greene reminds us that normal humans say what they sincerely
think. The seducer, but, crafts their phrases to direct their goal’s mind and
feelings. There are some ways to use what Greene calls the “demonic electricity
of phrases” to control:
three: Never let them see the real you.
You can’t gift yourself as an normal character when you’re seeking to seduce
someone. You have to be the best this man or woman fantasizes about. According
to Greene, because of this in preference to expressing alternatives of your
own, you’ll need to cater to what your target likes—inside the manner you get
dressed, where you are taking them, what you speak about, and so on.
4: Manipulate the use of moments of weak
point. Occasionally let your goal see a inclined side of you. Greene shows
confessing a few mystery to them, expressing deep emotion. Cry if you may. This
disarms the goal and makes them sense close to you. Wait until you’ve gotten to
recognise them a bit first, even though—don’t do this too quickly, and don’t
overdo it.
Five: Alienate the goal from their world
and produce them into yours. Green says that your goal’s pals and own family
can be your biggest enemy inside the seduction technique. They deliver the
target comfort and security and might additionally try and sway them against
you in the event that they see through your techniques. This method you should try
to get your goal far from their buddies and own family as a good deal as
feasible. Convince them that their friends and own family are jealous of the
time they spend with you or that they’re paternalistically controlling. Greene
notes that this ultimate point works in particular nicely with very younger
folks who sense confined by using parental control. Keeping the goal from all
forms of consolation creates a fear that most effective you could “save” them
from.
Step 3: Reel in Your Catch
The 1/3 step is to deliberately manage
your goal’s emotions the use of psychological methods. They’ll become
infatuated with you and absolutely fixated on looking to be with you.
1: Play the hero. You need to prove your
devotion in your target, so Greene shows you find a way to “rescue” them. Be
ready to spring into movement to help them with whatever they need, always.
Even if it’s now not something you need to do, understand that this will
paintings in your benefit. When you do assist your goal, he says, make sure to
play up how much it cost you—in time, effort, or cash. If not anything comes up
evidently, you may create a state of affairs in which you positioned them in an
invented hazard or disaster state of affairs that you need to assist them out
of.
2: Add an detail of hazard. Make your
goal experience like there’s something a piece dangerous about you. Break a few
social guidelines or taboos. Greene says married humans are particularly
vulnerable to this tactic. Play up the reality which you share a “dirty
secret.”
three: Take benefit of childhood trauma.
Get your goal to speak approximately their youth and play the function of
“therapist.” Listen closely and observe where they specific some thing missing
of their existence, then fill that for them. For example, if they didn’t get
sufficient encouragement as a toddler, emerge as encouraging. Or in the event
that they had uninvolved dad and mom, come to be parental in the direction of
them by using being loving however also every so often “scolding” or “punishing” them.
4: Combine spirituality and physicality.
To make your goal feel that your bond is deep and meaningful, include an detail
of spirituality into your seduction. If you portray your self as being non
secular in some manner, Greene says they gained’t suspect your manipulation and
could trust that your intentions are pure. Expose them to elegant art, poetry,
tune, or theater, so that they partner you with that soulful feeling.
Five: Alternate between giving
satisfaction and ache. Always keep your target on an emotional curler coaster.
According to Greene, human beings get addicted to that sort of exhilaration. So
he says you need to try and elicit emotions like jealousy, insecurity, and
anger, so that you can then relieve the ones emotions for them. Niceness is
best appealing within the very beginning, but humans get without problems bored
with it. Creating a cycle of alternating pain and delight causes dependency. Your
goal might be addicted to you.
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